The Art Of Communication & Listening

I have a sweet little story to tell on the art of communication and perhaps more importantly, listening. I will also warn you that there will be a small but controlled bout of maternal bragging, but I'll try to keep it short. Shortish. Now if you have read previous posts you may be aware that I am a highly enthusiastic promoter of baby signing. This is a method of developing language and communication skills with your baby, before they have the ability to talk. Babies brain development shows that babies have the ability cognitively to understand communication and language at a far earlier stage than the stage at which babies vocal chords are sufficiently developed to allow speech. What you have in between those two stages is frustration and tears for both parent and child. Much of the tantrums of the toddler stage has been attributed to this inability to express themselves and be understood in a way that matches the child's cognitive capabilities. Baby signing bridges that gap, giving the child tools to both understand and express. Many babies will develop their own signs spontaneously, usually around the time they start pointing at things and waving hello and goodbye. There a number of methods and classes available in the UK and it is an approach that is growing in popularity in other countries too. Here in the UK most classes use either Makaton which is based on BSL (British Sign Language) but adapted for children with special needs and which also incorporates the use of signs. UK readers who are parents may be familiar with the children's programme Something Special which uses Makaton.(http://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/somethingspecial/signs/) Other classes use signs that are strictly BSL based. On the whole there are variation between signs even within BSL, and some signs you may come across are adapted for easier use by babies. Still generally speaking you can get by with a combination. If you can't find a BSL sign for something but you can get a Makaton sign instead, then why not.

I have been using baby signs with Jasmine since she was 4 months old. At times I thought there seemed like little point in continuing, but once she started with her first few signs, it became like an avalanche of new words. Jasmine often sees something interesting and will turn to me or Daddy to see if we can give her a sign for it. That period of time where nothing at all seems to be happening is most likely when the biggest discoveries in your child's learning of language is taking place. Baby is learning that things have names, people have names and feelings have names etc, and that those names or words have a consistent relationship with the thing they represent. Using words can help you get what you want or need. Signs and words can have a relationship that is consistent. You may think your baby is contemplating their toes and pondering their next filled nappy, but they are actually working out some major stuff! Because Baby signing is both physical/visual and a language skill, it combines right brain and left brain activity and boosts development as a result!

So far, with her 1st birthday a mere 4 days away Jasmine knows and uses signs for the following: All Gone; Bed (Not one she uses very often, strangely); Bird; Bite (as in don't bite Mummy); Brush Teeth; Clap (usually this means I am so clever); Clean; Clean or Wash Face; Daddy (far too over used IMO); Dance (Jasmine is a funky groover); Dog; Don't Touch; Eat / Food; Fan /Fan Me (Sounds decadent but Jasmine made this one up herself when I took a fan out with us for use on the bus in hot weather); Flower; Get Up; Good; Hello / Goodbye; Hurt / Pain; Light / Sun (Baby is obsessed with light fittings. Perhaps she will be an interior designer); Look/See; Milk (2nd most used sign after Daddy); More (often used with milk); Mummy (for when the Milk sign hasn't had the desired effect with Daddy); Music (Jasmine really loves music and asks us to put the radio on in the morning); Nappy (very useful); Phone (used right before she cuts me off mid conversation); Pig (Used to entice Daddy to chase her around the living room making piggy noises); Play/Toy; Rain; Sand; Sleep/Go to Sleep; Stand; Stop; Toilet; Walk; Where (a favourite for peekaboo and hide the toy games); You. In addition Jasmine understands about double the number of signs she actually uses. Jasmine can speak two words, Mumum and Dada. Imagine, she can express and understand such a wide variety of things, but had she not had access to this wonderful tool, she would be restricted to just Mumum and Dada. I believe that although Jasmine is incredibly special to me, her signing abilities are not, she is simply doing what the majority of babies are capable of. You can see why little ones get so frustrated and angry.

So to the cute story My DSLP gets up with Jasmine before he goes to work so that I can catch up from the night time waking and he can get a bit of quality time with her. Now wonderful man that he is, and perhaps this is just my experience, he is a man. Which means that generally he doesn't listen. I find this quality irritating. Its a combination of zoning out and being unable to multi-task, ie watch the news and listen at the same time. Its a focus thing I think. Anyway Jasmine had eaten breakfast and DSLP had just changed her nappy when he decided to clear up her tray in the kitchen which adjoins the living room while she played with her toys. A little while later he noticed she had taken her nappy off and was crawling about in her birthday suit. He said OK then you have your naked run around I'll be back in in a minute. Very shortly after he brings her into the bedroom to clean her and put on a nappy. "You'll never guess what happened" he said. The nappy Jas had taken off had been a pooey nappy and she had then crawled about making a glorious mess, so he wanted me to hold her while he cleaned up. I said "That's very unlike Jas, she usually tells me when she needs her nappy changing" . He looking a bit embarrassed said, well she did do the nappy sign, but I had just changed her so I thought it couldn't be, so I decided I'd check a bit later" I how I laughed! "I told you that you never listen. I hope you have learned your lesson" To be honest it made me feel quite proud. Jasmine being the smart (bilingual), independent young lady that she is had decided that if she wasn't going to be listened to or understood, then she wasn't going to wait on any man, not even Daddy, to do something for her that she could do for herself! That's my girl, start as you mean to go on!