Bringing Up Baby

Claire Verity: Evil Personified, Vile Dictator

I have been deliberating how to write this post for nearly a week. The emotions that this topic raised in me are not pretty. So whats got me feeling so mad? Channel 4's "Bringing Up Baby" Tuesdays at 9.00pm. For those of you who haven't seen or heard of this programme the basic premise is to compare three methods of raising an infant which are:

• a routine based method based on the regime Dr Frederic Truby King from the 1950's


• the Childcare philosophy of Dr Spock from the 1960's


• the method of The Continuum Concept devised by Jean Liedloff.

Three experts, each an enthusiastic proponent of their chosen childcare method assist a family to implement one of the methods. (At this point I should tell you that my own parenting style is somewhere between that advocated by Dr Spock and Jean Liedloff with Jean Liedloff representing my ideals and Dr Spock representing my compromises. I am also very drawn to the work by John Mostyn Bowlby and William Sears who pioneered work on the Attachment Parenting philosophy which is broadly the same as The Continuum Concept, Frederic Leboyer who wrote "Birth Without Violence" and Dr Gowri Motha author of "The Gentle First Year" and Childbirth and parenting guru Shiela Kitzinger) This child centred approach contends that babies are born with innate instincts and developmental needs for constant physical contact with the mother primarily or other caregiver in her absence, e.g. being carried in a sling and co-sleeping, breast feeding on demand and being given immediate attention to its needs, e.g when crying, plus lots of love and affection. (Jean Liedloff developed her approach as a result of witnessing the natural parenting methods of Amazonian tribeswomen.) By receiving this high level of consistent nurturing and security, the baby will develop confidence and positive self esteem and a happy outlook. This is due to the fact that a babies brain development and emotional development begins at an incredibly young age, partly in response to the cortisol hormone or "stress hormone". Babies who are more stressed by for example, being left to cry or isolated and deprived of emotional and physical contact will be more likely to develop an emotional pattern of depression and fear which forms their basic character for life. Babies deprived of emotional warmth, security and physical contact (such as children neglected in Romanian orphanages, have been found, following MRI scans to have whole areas of their brain missing, due to the lack of the emotional cues that stimulate such brain and central nervous system growth and development. I have taken this information from Steve's Biddulph's "Raising Babies" and the research this is based on is credited to Dr Alan Schore (see http://www.mercola.com/2003/apr/9/child_care.htm )

Compare this then, if you will, to the style of parenting of devised by Dr Frederic Trudy King and determinedly championed by Claire Verity. This women guided the parents of a newborn to implement a strict and timed by the clock system of feeding every four hours, with night feeds to be dropped as soon as possible to minimise length of time parents' sleep is disrupted, to limit contact between baby and carers (mother, father etc) to a maximum of 10 minutes of cuddling per day, the baby sleeps in in a room alone from day one (never mind that this contravenes current advice on SIDS prevention.) and for the baby to spend several hours in the garden every day. Bad enough, but this (to my mind) evil monster of a woman insisted that the baby not be removed from its bed after 7.00pm under any circumstance and that the parents should ignore its cries (never mind dirty nappies, hunger, loneliness or fear for this poor poor baby who up till this point had known nothing but the comfort and safety and nourishment of its mothers womb), that the baby should be held away from the body when being fed and that the parents should not make eye contact with the baby (she actually said "Why do you need to look at it?") Through out the programme she referred to these innocent defenceless newborns as IT!!! The baby was wrapped in a blanket and put in the pram, placed in the garden to get fresh air (don't get me wrong, I have nothing against fresh air for babies but this astounded me) in the rain, for several hours ALONE Claire Verity actually CLOSED THE DOOR and stated "You don't need to listen to it crying". One incident that broke my heart was the older sister of the baby pleading with the dad to be able to give the baby a cuddle to be told by the father that they weren't allowed to. Ye Gods I despaired, even this child had more sense. At one point the mother in floods of tears wanted to go to her baby, as a mothers natural instinct would dictate (an instinct which is there for a reason), but she (both her and her husband being first-time parents) resisted on the authority of this vile woman who has no children and does not possess a maternal bone in her body. My rage has still not subsided.

Now I can understand the reason that this family chose to experience this method. Due to financial circumstances, the mother would need to return to work very soon. It just demonstrates my feeling that the pressure created by the cost of living and expectations for mothers to return to work and therefore require her baby to be raised by paid professionals, strangers who do not love your child, but are just doing their job is actively, is constructively and expertly damaging the development of healthy emotionally nourished children and strong family bonding. The whole basis of the Trudy King ( Who incidentally was a surgeon and also the inventor of baby formula and therefore largely responsible for the decline in popularity of breastfeeding) method is to sever the mother child bond and "train" the infant to fit around the parents routine, to change the parent's life as little as possible, to be CONVENIENT. If that's what prospective parents are looking for, my recommendation is to get a plant or robot instead. If you were to place an adult in isolation for long periods of time, condemn them to an existence devoid of stimulation, deprive them of physical or emotional contact, ration their food supply and subject them to high levels of fear and stress as a result, it would at best be considered a severe form of imprisonment and at worst torture. Ultimately this archaic and cruel system of childcare which is nearly 60 years old (It was also in the 50's, that wonderful era of modernisation, that Doctors decided that hospital births where women lay on their back were the way forward and bottle feeding was touted as the modern and best way to nourish infants, and that originated comments such as "you shouldn't cuddle the baby so much, you'll spoil her" and "haven't you weaned her yet? She'd sleep better if you gave her formula" and my favourite " sometimes you just need to let them cry, it does no harm, its good for their lungs" and a beautiful, sweet and delicate child's entrance to the world was greeted with violence of being hung upside down and slapped.) is damaging to these baby's biological and emotional development of the brain and central nervous system and I would think (although this is merely an opinion on my part) the endocrine system which regulates hormones. This is child abuse. Claire Verity CHARGES £1000 PER DAY to show parents how to abuse their kids and risk damaging them biologically and emotionally!

So who is Claire Verity? Channel 4's site had this to say:

"Claire Verity is a maternity nurse with 24 years' experience and a string of nannying qualifications. Claire revels in her moniker of 'Cruella de Vil' of the baby world and claims that, even though her methods are strict, she can guarantee 100% success. The method she has devised is based on Truby King's routine, which she learnt about during her maternity nurse training. Claire often has a clash of opinion with her clients, especially on her rule of not picking up and cuddling a baby too much. She says that breakthrough happens when suddenly the mothers see that their baby is no longer 'unmanageable' and that they have their lives back – it's then, she says, that they accept she has been right all along "

The web site

http://www.thebabyshow.co.uk/nec-birmingham/show-features/learn/sleeping-routines/

"CLAIRE VERITY – The Celebrity Baby Guru
Struggling to get your baby into a sleeping routine? Help is at hand from Claire Verity, who will be talking on The Comfort Pure Stage with Prima Baby on Sunday 13 May at 12 noon.
Claire Verity is a highly sought after baby expert, who has cared for a long list of babies of celebrities like Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Sting and Mark Knopfler of Dire Straits. Over a career spanning 22 years she has advised many people including Princess Diana about baby care. Claire will be speaking about her no nonsense approach which has babies sleeping through the night at eight weeks old.Claire is also currently filming a TV series 'Bringing up Baby' for Channel 4."

Sounds wonderful doesn't she? What I find equally worrying as the fact that this woman is allowed to promote and teach these damaging ideas is that this programme was made in the first place. Reality television for all its good and bad points, should not be allowed to exploit and potentially damage the bonding process and an infants development permanently as "an experiment" merely for casual entertainment. I am all for promoting child centred parenting advocated by experts in attachment parenting / continuum concept (of which there is very little mainstream exposure) and I can see many good points in the relaxed and flexible approach of the Dr Spock method that supports the mother and father and tells them that they innately know what is good for them and their child and supports them to trust their instincts in a relaxed way providing their child with warmth and love, but to inflict Claire Verity and her hideous and damaging ideology on the newborns of first time parents who faced with the authority of "24 years of experience as a maternity nurse and nanny" may not have the confidence to stand against or even question her methods (what I saw told me that the parents were not entirely happy with this method) is unforgivable. If you saw the programme, then I doubt you need convincing. If you didn't I hope I have provided enough information for you to consider signing this petition. Channels should know that this type of programme is unacceptable. http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/parentingshows/#detail . Had the programme been called "A Shocking Expose of Claire Verity Who Teaches Parents To Neglect Their Child For The Sake Of Convenience And Charges Them £1000 Per Day For The Privilege" then my post may have been entirely supportive of Channel 4. Sadly it was not

It took me the best part of a week to decide how to write this post. Once I opened the valve, I decide to go with it and vent my spleen. I hope you don't mind. I have to say I haven't felt this angry about a television programme for a very long time and writing this has been cathartic. I glad I got that out of my system!

More Straight Talking Feedback! Sisters ;0)

In keeping with the theme of straight talking, I had a chat with my sister today. While we were talking, she was trying to fix her bed (don't ask) and I was watching my "baby-led weaned" darling throw spaghetti covered in houmous around the living room. I asked her If she'd seen my blog and what she thought, because I respect her opinion. She said that she didn't want to phone me because I was suffering communication overload and that I needed to make it more fun and less like I was writing the news, more personal and she said something else about Yucca plants which I won't go into just now. On reflection, she's right. I do need to make it more personal, and write more about my feelings and experiences and daily trials, tribulations, joys and successes. I seem to have an inner teacher that wants to explain things and educate people! So while I am writing about personal stuff, I want to share a moan. Like those T-shirts you get that say "my Sister went to NY and all I got was this lousy T shirt", I need to share this with you

My Sister visited my blog and didn't make a comment, didn't sign my guestbook and didn't sign up for feeds and all I got was some constructive criticism

Thanks Sis, love you loads!

Thinking On Your Feet World Reflexology Week

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.

I love feet. Not in a fetishistic kind of way, but fundamentally. What is it about feet? People tend to wrinkle their nose and feign disgust when you bring up the subject of feet. Oh my God, don't mention toes! they yell while visible cringing. Refer to feet and people envision corns and verruccas, athlete's foot, and ingrown toenails. Yes I agree all these various ailments are not pleasant, but feet? Well lets just say I have a different perspective all together. I think feet are beautiful, miraculous and fascinating.

Ok, so now you are probably thinking that despite my initial statement, I do have a fetish. Let me explain. I used to feel as most people do. I associated feet with bad smells and other pre-conceived horrors, with the exception of scrummy gorgeous baby feet! And then I discovered reflexology and I have been amazed by feet ever since. I qualified in reflexology in 1997 and went on to study advanced reflexology courses. For those of you who do not know what the theory behind reflexology is, and may have been told that it is a glorified foot massage, I will give you the basic concept. Feet are representative (ie a reflection) of the whole of the human body, with the toes representing the head and the ball of the foot representing the torso above the diaphragm where there are areas that indicate the heart, lungs, oesophagus, the line from big toe following the arch of the foot to the base of the heel representative of the spine, the heel representing the pelvis and lower digestive / reproductive areas, the area between the the ball of the foot and heel of the foot representing the torso between the diaphragm and pelvis, containing liver, spleen, digestive tract, kidneys and so on. By working on these correspondences on the feet we can implement a therapeutic effect on those areas in the body.

To the trained reflexologist the foot is an anatomical representation of the entire human body, comprising skeletal, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, urinary, digestive, reproductive and endocrine systems. Gentle but firm pressure is applied to specific areas of the foot according to each individuals needs and requirements (following a detailed consultation to assess the clients physical, mental and emotional state and taking into consideration lifestyle factors such as diet, sleep patterns, levels of activity and more) to provide therapeutic relief and healing by encouraging and assisting the body's inherent healing systems and faculties to respond.

Reflexologists can tell many things from the feet, such as a persons overall health, various places of low energy or blocked energy within the body that also indicative of physical and emotional conditions and even life changes such as pregnancy. It is even possible to assess where a women is in her menstrual cycle or whether a man has low or high testosterone or if someone is dehydrated. Reflexology is that precise and that's not all. As well as an anatomical aspect to reflexology, the discipline owes much to Traditional Chinese Medicine or "TCM" as it is often referred to as. (That said, the ancient Chinese did not have a monopoly on the practice. There is much archaeological and other evidence to show that Egyptian, Asian and Native American civilisations all practised the art.) The Reflexology map also includes zones, lines or channels of energy running through the feet, much like TCM meridians, with specific acupressure points. In Ayurveda these channels and the various pressure points are called nadis. The aim of treatment is to help the client achieve balance, removing blockages in areas of stagnation where energy cannot flow and energising areas that are depleted of energy. Indeed there are specific points that run along the area of the foot that corresponds to the spine that relate the chakras of the body. The foot then is not merely an anatomical representation of the whole of the body but an energetic representation.

Also considered by the reflexologist during treatment are the textures, colours and tensions in the foot. Areas of built up lactic acid referred to as crystals by most reflexologist because of its grainy lumpy texture can be gently broken down by the pressure applied for elimination by the bodies natural processes, and where these crystals form highly indicative of the client's overall health. The texture of the skin and areas of colour, bluish areas, yellowing skin, red inflamed, soft swollen areas and hard dry areas all tell the reflexologist much about the clients condition, such as whether the person is a smoker, suffers constipation and so on. As you can see there there is much that the feet can tell the trained eye and applying this kind of treatment can help all manner of conditions, especially chronic disorders. I am writing all this information about reflexology in honour of World Reflexology Week, which runs from September 23rd through September 30th, 2007. http://www.icr-reflexology.org/, http://www.reflexologyforum.org/wrw.htm, both sites have more information about this.(Incidentally reflexology isn't just about treating feet, despite my post being on the subject of feet. Reflex areas can be found on the hands and also the ears. Our body is an amazing example of the microcosm/macrocosm theory in action, as well as a physical demonstration of The Law of Reflection. In TCM the whole of the bodies organs and energetic systems can be assessed by, in addition to the feet, hands and ears , reading the face or tongue. Our human bodies are indeed miraculous.

But lets get back to feet. Feet are the most abused, neglected and undervalued parts of our bodies. They carry the entire weight of our body, for a lifetime. They are jammed into uncomfortable (but gorgeous) shoes. (Despite all I know about the problems they cause I still love high heels, or at least did before my little one came along!) There are more than 7,200 nerve endings in the foot, which is why feet can be so ticklish! (Don't ask me how we know that figure, did someone count them?) This says to me that most people's feet could do with a little TLC. Feet are our connection with the Earth. Anyone who is interested in spiritual, healing or meditative matters will have heard of the concept of grounding. Everyone has heard someone say things like "they are so grounded" or "So&so is so down to earth" or even "That's someone with their feet on the ground" or "You were really thinking on your feet there" and perhaps "I just felt I needed to touch base". These comments describe being grounded as opposed to "they've got their head in the clouds". An awareness of your foundation, your place in the universe, your connection to reality, this is grounding. This awareness starts with your feet. Most of us are aware of our feet when they are hurting, but most of the time we hardly notice them. Every now again just take the time to become aware of your feet, sense them. How do they feel? How does the surface beneath them feel? Take your awareness down to your feet. Get grounded.

So if you can this week, in honour of World Reflexology Week, give your feet a treat. Book an appointment with a reflexologist (you may find many reflexologists are offering demonstrations or introductory treatments this week)or support your local college by booking a treatment there for reflexology trainees. Treat yourself to a home pedicure and if your like me, get that foot spa thingy out of the cupboard under the stairs / off the top of the wardrobe and use it for once. Apply moisturiser and paint your toenails a pretty colours. Get your partner to give you a foot massage while you take a load off and if you're feeling generous, return the favour! If you treat your feet you wont just be making your feet feel nice and relaxed, you'll be rejuvenating your body mind and spirit and getting connected. Best of all if you can, take your shoes and socks off and dabble them in the ocean or a river or pond or alternatively walk on the grass. You'll feel great! Delicious

How Long Should A Post Be? Communication Overload

I asked a friend for an honest opinion on this blog "so far". What he said was honest and I was thankful. "You wrote all that? Have you thought of writing a book?" In my enthusiasm, my posts have been, lets say just a little, lengthy. The trouble is that sometimes I don't know when to stop typing. I have so much to say.

I have come to the conclusion that this is the Law of Reflection in action and that this is the trouble with my communication, full stop. I talk too much too. I spend too much time on the phone and online and my conversations are usually extended. I join forums, blog, and communicate with strangers on Stumble Upon.(feel free to take at look at my pages http://melanie3i.stumbleupon.com/ ) I have lost count of the number of email addresses I have. I am guilty of over communicating. Is it such a bad thing? It is wonderful that I can communicate with people from all over the world, those who share similiar views and experiences and those who do not. I can let a friend or loved one know I am thinking of them at the push of a button. Whole movements against injustice and oppression can be mobilised on line. Today we can experience the ultimate in free expression. In this world of instant communication, people have 24 hour a day access to the Internet, we are contactable on our laptops, mobiles, by text and email. In short there is rarely a moment in the day when someone is unable to contact or be contacted.

Obviously I exercise some restraint. In this age of the communication explosion I find that my boundaries are more important than ever! I log on and turn my status to "appear offline". Sometimes I leave the answer machine on and don't answer my land line. ( I have even unplugged it when I didn't want the phone to ring and wake the baby! I switch off my mobile phone. Occasionally I leave the house without it because I want to be alone.

To be honest I rarely use my mobile to make calls, with the exception of the "I'd like a cab please" and "I'm leaving now, where shall I meet you?" calls and I keep calls I receive short and to the point because I believe that mobile phones are the new tobacco. I believe that the numbers of people experiencing cancers and other health problems will soar over the next few decades, and just like the tobacco industry has done for so many decades, the mobile phone companies will deny that there are any risks posed by the use of mobile phones and mobile phone transmitter masts. In the 50's almost everyone smoked. Nowadays everyone has a mobile phone. Imagine, some people have 3 or more mobile phones, a work mobile, a personal phone for friends and family and another for everybody else. (I just make do with one.) It horrifies me that some people give their children mobile phones, because unlike tobacco in its early years (doctors used to prescribe smoking to patients!!) the UK Government already admits that mobile phones pose a danger to children under the age of 14. I actually know someone who has given their 9 year old a mobile phone. I don't even like when people attempt to take pictures of my baby with their mobiles. I believe that eventually phones will come with government warnings for everyone, not just children, once (call me cynical) the cost of medical treatment and compensation claims exceeds the revenue of phones, calls and tariff sales. Take a look at these excerpt from this website which also raises the issue of risks posed by land line cordless phones: http://www.childrensfurniture.co.uk/phones.htmlms;

"It is not a question of whether these EMF (Electro Magnetic Frequency) Fields cause health problems or not, that is not in doubt. What is uncertain is just how this ill-health will manifest in an individual. What is certain, through even the most basic understanding of physics is that EMF's do weaken our energy fields and this will lead to some form of illness and disease in humans. Children, in particular, with their developing immune systems and ill or sick people are more prone to the effects of EM Radiation, and are, therefore, at risk the most . I am now convinced that EMF's pose a health hazard. There is statistical association between magnetic fields and cancer that goes beyond the shadow of reasonable doubt . I think there is clear evidence that exposure to EMF's increases the risk of cancer. This is most clear with leukaemia and brain tumours , but in residential studies statistical significance increased for all kinds of cancers. And we are just beginning to have a whole body of evidence that reproductive cancers are increased by exposure”. Dr David Carpenter, Dean of the State of New York School of Public Health"

"A Dutch study has suggested mobile phone use can affect brain function , and further research from Europe indicated radiation from the phones can cause DNA damage"

Needing to protect privacy and solitude is important but difficult to communicate to others."I phoned ten times, why weren't you answering your mobile I was worried?" or "how could you leave the house without your mobile phone?". Have you ever had the experience of someone phoning you on one phone, and when not getting you, phoning you on the other or sending an email. In work situations, sometimes people send an e-mail then call you to tell you that they have sent you an email. Have you ever had some-one do something like this to you or have you ever done anything like this to someone else. I have.

This communication overload is relatively new. Without meaning to sound decrepit, I remember when computers were rare and took a degree in computer programming to do anything more complex than load a computer game, when not everybody had a telephone and mobiles did not exist. You could go out and the only way people would only be able to communicate with you would be if they saw you in person. Families sat round the table to eat their meal and talked to one another. (remember face to face communication within the family that wasn't in front of the telly or PlayStation?) People actually wrote letters too. In some ways there was something more relaxed and easy about being able to do your own thing without checking your phone or email account every 5 minutes - 30 minutes depending on your personal preference. With all this communicating, ironically, we as individuals are losing the ability to listen to one another.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not about to unplug my computer, ditch the mobile, throw away the telly, cut off the land line and stop reading the newspaper, but I do feel the need to streamline. All this communication feels like there isn't enough time to for just being me or conversely, to connect with the people that are close to me. After all, I just can't help feeling that all this external communication diverts me from my inner communication, and my inner journey is what inspires me and gives me something to communicate in the first place. Its when I am still that I am able to receive the answers that truly guide me. Its time to simplify. My blog posts might not be so lengthy. I might actually go and visit some friends. You can still send me an email, or give me a call, but I might not get back to you straight away. I will be selectively incommunicado. I have decided less is more. After all its the quality that counts, not the quantity

Breast Feeding is a Political Statement

This lovely photo is provided by Bklynlady and is entitled

"Lunch" courtesy of http://breastfeedingphotos.blogspot.com/

You'd think that there would be nothing more natural, or acceptable, but it seems that society in general conspires against the breast feeding mother. Right from the word go, there are subtle pressures that inhibit a mothers will and ability to breastfeed. On the NCT's website (National Childbirth Trust) http://www.nct.org.uk/breastfeeding/ I found this paragraph about breastfeeding mothers;

"Nine out of ten women who stop breastfeeding in the first six weeks are stopping before they want to. The most common reasons given for stopping, reveal that these women often didn't receive the accurate information and support that they needed."

“British breastfeeding rates are amongst the lowest in Europe. Only seven out of ten babies receive any breast milk and this falls to 55% at one week. Just one in five babies are receiving any breast milk by the time they are six months old, although the World Health Organisation recommend that babies need nothing other than breastfeeding for the first six months of life.”

Why is this? Information about the health and child care benefits of breastfeeding have never been more prevalent or accessible, thanks to active promotion by the medical professions and organisations such as the NCT and the La Leche League and of course the Internet. Breast is Best! This fact is as well known as it is logical. Our ancestors whose biology we inherited didn't look for the nearest cow for their babies to suckle from. The idea that that bovine milk (which is primarily what constitutes baby formula) is better for human babies than human milk (barring any contra-indications arising from ill health, diseases such as HIV or other issues affecting lactation) which is naturally engineered to provide exactly for the needs of a human infant, delivering antibodies, and nutrients such as essential fatty acids and amino acids and substances that may not yet have been quantified but may prove nevertheless to essential to infant development in precisely the right proportions for optimum development is not only sad and misguided, but ludicrous.

In his open letter "The Milk Letter, An Open Letter to Patients" Dr Robert M. Kradjian, MD, Breast Surgery Chief Division of General Surgery, Seton Medical Centre (the full article, the main premise of which calls for a separate post can be found here http://www.notmilk.com/kradjian.html ) asserts:

"For example, cows' milk is very much richer in protein than human milk. Three to four times as much. It has five to seven times the mineral content. However, it is markedly deficient in essential fatty acids when compared to human mothers' milk. Mothers' milk has six to ten times as much of the essential fatty acids, especially linoleic acid.(Incidentally, skimmed cow's milk has no linoleic acid). It simply is not designed for humans."

The benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and baby are not temporary, but last a lifetime , providing babies with essential antibodies, and making conditions such as colic, ear infections eczema less likely and supplying long term protection and lowering the risk from type 1 diabetes, heart disease, respiratory disease, allergies, obesity, and even bestowing increased IQ (or is it that alternatives lower IQ?) The answer to why despite all the benefits many mothers discontinue early or perhaps never breast lies in the attitudes, needs and expectations of others and the general practicalities of breastfeeding in a society that has sidelined parenting and a more child centred approach to parenting as inconvenient.

This subjection to external pressures starts in hospitals, where health professionals scrutinise attempts at breastfeeding. For mothers who have just given birth, particularly first time mothers, this is an incredibly vulnerable time and the bonding process can be impeded by too much interference. The opinions are given authoritatively, but differ hugely. I personally lost count of the number of times a nurse or midwife wanted to "help" me and "let me rest" by offering to feed my baby for me! No thanks was my response. Alternatively some mothers feel they are under so much pressure to feed naturally "to perform" so to speak, that anxiety levels are sky high and this in turn affects their ability to lactate.

Partners also have a huge impact in both the decision of a woman to breastfeed or not and the longevity of breastfeeding. Support from a partner is very important and a father can help the mother through the difficulties of breastfeeding. On the other hand Dads may want the best for their child, but the changing role of a woman's breasts from sexual to utilitarian can provoke resentment. There can also be decreased libido for a breastfeeding women as a result of hormonal changes that may prompt a man to urge his partner to give up breastfeeding.

Female family members can add to the problem, particularly if those women are mothers who also did not breastfeed. Comments such as "maybe the baby would sleep better at night if you gave her/him formula" or "well (this or that person) was fed on formula and it never did them any harm" and "are you sure he/she is getting enough? maybe you should think about starting the baby on solids". Weekly check ups with the health visitor raise weight concerns, as breastfed babies are leaner than formula fed babies and don't "perform well on weight/growth charts. It should be pointed out that the charts were based on predominantly formula fed babies and don't adequately reflect the healthy growth patterns of breastfed babies.

Next on the list of attitudes conspiring against the breastfeeding mother are those of "the general public". Often mothers feeding their children in public places are asked to to stop feeding or leave! The NCT called for a law to give mothers the right to breastfeed in public. It isn't actually against the law, but the reaction from some citizens could make a person think it was an act of indecent exposure! (Find out more about this story here http://www.nct.org.uk/media/pressrelease?prid=63 ) The forward thinking Scottish Parliament have already passed such a law. I breast feed my child when and where she needs feeding. Are the sensitivities of others more important than an infants need for food? I think not. Furthermore, if people are so incensed about women "brazenly" (that's sarcasm, can you tell?) feeding their little ones publicly, consider this, why do they not lobby in support of mothers for better (and more discreet) facilities for mothers and babies? I tire of asking various premises for the use of their mother and baby room only to be directed to the public toilet! Unlike infants, most adult's immune systems are well developed, but would you eat in a toilet? I doubt it. So what the alternatives to the toilet or breastfeeding in a public area? Stay at home until your child is weaned in an sort of "new mother purdah" imposed on those women who simply wish to do what is best for their child by those who should know better. The medical establishment, the World Health Organisation and various governments stress the importance of breastfeeding for nutritional and psychological well being of infants, so why is so called "polite" society so determined to vilify and ostracise the breast feeding mother? The negative response to women breastfeeding in public actually encourages women (particularly young women ) to use a bottle and formula instead or to stop breastfeeding to appease the opinions of others and denies babies of optimum nutrition and well being in the manner nature intended.

The popularity of bottle feeding in developed countries is relatively recent. The 50's and 60's marked the burgeoning freedom of women and the depersonalisation of the birthing and nurturing of babies. Why is bottle feeding still so prevalent. I see for reasons as being key,

• Advertising and media pressure.
• Pressure from Partners, family, health professionals and "society" to conform
• Economic reasons such as the need to return to work hastening weaning
• The need to share childcare responsibilities with partners, family or carers

When did you last see a baby on your favourite soap being breastfed? Millions are spent by big business to persuade us to by formula, teats, bottles, sterilisers, etc. I found this article from the Washington Post today, (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/30/AR2007083002198_pf.html ) . It describes how a public breastfeeding promotion campaign that would have been highly effective was "toned down" to the extent that it was almost completely ineffective as a result of lobbying by the infant formula industry which hired a former chairman of the Republican National Committee and a former top regulatory official to lobby the Health and Human Services Department. The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA) advised recently that MORE than one million babies could be saved worldwide if mothers were to start breastfeeding within the first hour of birth. This makes the actions of companies such as Nestlé all the more deplorable and has led to world wide boycott being called against the companies products. The following quotes are taken from http://www.babymilkaction.org/pages/boycott.html.

"Nestlé is targeted with the boycott because monitoring conducted by the International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN) finds it to be responsible for more violations of the World Health Assembly marketing requirements for baby foods than any other company"

"As UNICEF has said: Marketing practices that undermine breastfeeding are potentially hazardous wherever they are pursued: in the developing world, WHO estimates that some 1.5 million children die each year because they are not adequately breastfed. These facts are not in dispute."

You can find more info about the boycott here http://boycottnestle.blogspot.com/search/label/Nestle%20boycott

The need to conform to societies conventions and economics affects how long women breastfeed for too. It is often deemed in western societies "abnormal" to breastfeed a baby beyond 6 months, weaning (starting solids) often being synonymous with the cessation of breastfeeding. This is not the case in other cultures where breastfeeding may continue for far longer. From a biological point of view Dr Robert M. Kradjian advises:

"It seems that nature provides new-borns with the enzymatic equipment to metabolize lactose,but this ability often extinguishes by age 4 or 5 years."

Can you imagine the outcry? I am not suggesting that everyone should breastfeed until a child is of school age, but it does provoke thought. Why do so many women who do breastfeed for more than a few weeks stop feeding at between 6 months - 12 months, why not 18 months or 24 months? Conforming to what is considered normal definitely plays a part. Another significant factor in stopping breastfeeding is financial. Women in the UK are entitled to 1 years maternity leave, part paid, part unpaid. If women do not return to work following maternity leave, they are obliged to return their employers maternity pay contribution. Many families simply cannot manage financially on one income, or afford to repay such a debt. Public attitudes towards a woman's role have changed so much that it no longer questioned if you will return to work, but when. To decide to leave the working world and look after your baby is often considered either a luxury or radical! This means well before the deadline women are trying to arrange child care and wean their babies so that they are less dependant on them. Some women try to use expressed milk and find that adequate support is not given by their employers.

The reasons why women don't breastfeed seem as numerous as the benefits of breastfeeding. I am not writing this post as a means of railroading women into breastfeeding. I understand the difficulties that can be experienced and I recognise the need for women to do what is right for them, their babies and their families according to their personal circumstances. I do hope to present the facts and perhaps use this article to support those who make the choice to breastfeed and highlight the social attitudes and other constraints that limit this course of action.

Personally I have found no more enjoyable bonding experience than that experienced when breastfeeding my daughter. To be able to nourish and provide for her needs physically, emotionally and spiritually in this most basic way is incredibly satisfying. Not to mention the convenience of feeding. I feel for parents who have to get up in the early hours to prepare bottles, when I am able to just pick my little angel up for a sleepy cuddle and feed!

MyFirst Blog Post

Drum Roll Please (Standing Ovations Gratefully Accepted)

Well this feels slightly momentous. (Truly, I don't mean that statement to sound as pretentious as it does) It's just that I feel a little embarrassed and not sure where to begin. It's a bit like meeting someone for the first time, which in a way I suppose I am. So hello world wide web! In all seriousness, I began creating my blog site and then I agonised over how to begin posting, what to post etc. I realised OMG! I know nothing about blogging, time to do a little research methinks. It turns out there are millions of sites on "How to Blog" and after a few hours I knew I wouldn't be able to read them all. But I did find some really good resources on this subject. http://www.problogger.net/ being the best I have come across so far, and in particular their Blogging for Beginners page: http://www.problogger.net/archives/2006/02/14/blogging-for-beginners-2/

The slightly depressing thing is that I have discovered I've already got it all wrong and I haven't even finished my first post!. For a start the serious blogger doesn't use a weblog provider, but gets their own domain. Secondly the best blogs have a focus, some kind of niche subject matter or message that they want to get across, the fundamentals of which they include in their title. (All the better to get noticed by search engines by.) As is evident from my title, I just intend to ramble on about any particular topic that pops into my head on a particular day, albeit with an emphasis on a particular range of topics. So my blog is without purpose it seems. Hey ho, start as I mean to go on I say.

The thing is I am not focused on any one particular facet of life. I am fascinated by almost everything. I do have passions, experience and talents but like most people I am multi-faceted, (like a crystal) not a one dimensional being and I don't know how to pigeonhole those interests and abilities in one neatly shaped blog. I don't really want to. So what can I offer? Well I am enthusiastic about learning and sharing knowledge and I am like info-sponge. I absorb and can regurgitate various bits of acquired knowledge endlessly. I am also very opinionated (although open minded enough to consider alternative points of view that differ to my own) on the topics that are important to me, some of which are as follows:

Parenting. I have recently become a mother. My daughter is nearly a year old. I love being a parent and have quite a different take on childcare from what is the conventional accepted norm. My holistic view of the world means that I believe child rearing should be child-centred. (Woahhh..revolutionary stuff.) For example my daughter does not have a pram or pushchair. I prefer to carry her as I feel this makes my little one more confident and secure Ala "attachment parenting".This site http://www.thebabywearer.com/ has lots more info on this subject. I breast feed and intend to do so for as long as I can. (Believe it or not I have found that breast feeding is a political statement, not merely a naturally provided form of sustenance for babies. More on that in another post.) I also have never fed my little darling on baby puree (or mush as I prefer to call it) I breastfed exclusively until Jasmine was 6 months and then gave her solid food that was actually solid. Check out http://babyledweaning.blogware.com/ for great tips, ideas and photos. Also (Shock horror) My baby is vegan just like me. I am also a passionate advocate for baby signing, which is the best thing ever. Absolutely the best thing ever. Jasmine is able to communicate what she is thinking about, what she wants or needs or even to make little baby jokes thanks to this wonderful communication tool meaning less crying and less frustration on both sides. With my training in complementary therapy baby massage is another topic I have much to expound on. I believe that babies are first and foremost people and need to be treated as the alert, intelligent and amazing people that they are, not just as sleeping, suckling, poop machines. As you might have gathered parenting is a subject I have a lot to say about.

Next passion: Responsible and ethical consumerism. The fact is SLAVERY exists. Unacceptable though it may be, we in the developed world create the demand for slave labour. I'm not talking sweat shops and economic slavery which are also a modern day reality and horrific enough, but actual old fashioned, deprived of freedom, beaten, threatened and tortured, even raped and forced to work with out pay, denied basic human rights slavery. There are an estimated 27 million slaves worldwide and that is felt to be a conservative estimate by some. http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/ has more info on this as well as http://www.freetheslaves.net/ . A significant proportion of those in slavery are children. Add to this exploitative mix cheap third world labour, the afore-mentioned sweat shops, "free trade" agreements which force countries to accept subsidised cheaper goods from western nations glut of over production which then eliminates internal suppliers and production in that country and leads to dependency on imported goods, exploitation by big business, whole economies of developing countries reliant on income from cash crops bought by multinationals at the lowest prices possible and the poverty caused by natural disasters which are the results of environmental damage (deforestation, desertification, pollution etc) and you have the needs of the many being ignored and denied in favour of the privileged excesses of the few. We can do something about this as individuals. Our cash and how we choose to spend it is the biggest democratic power we still have. When you buy a product you do not merely condone that suppliers conduct and practices, you FINANCE it and create the demand for more of the same. So surely it is much better to support businesses and manufacturers who have ethical practices than support the degradation of your fellow souls on this planet. Have a look at the brilliant Ethical Trader site http://www.ethiscore.org/reports.aspx?free=true if you want information on how to use your purchases to good effect. This is something I feel very passionately about, so you can expect many posts on Fair Trade, Equitable Trade, ethical consumerism, civil rights and the abolition of slavery and environmental issues from me.

I am a vegan. The way we use animals for our own ends is akin to fascism. We brutalise them, exploit them, imprison them, torture them, murder them and deny that they even feel pain or emotion or have the same basic drives as we do such as the need for freedom, safety, companionship and concern for their offspring's wellbeing. The way some people differentiate between "pets" and "farm" (i.e. food) animals, while still maintaining that they are "animal lovers is at best hypocritical. We use animals for entertainment, food, clothing, often without a second thought. But don't let me put you off your dinner when I tell you how your end product on the plate was actually achieved and lets not forget the major environmental and economic effects of farming livestock as well as the nutritional effect a meat and dairy laden diet. Most people just don't want to know. If I can educate even one person about the reality of factory farming and its impact on the environment, the suffering experienced by these sentient beings we call animals or the health benefits of a vegan or vegetarian diet and thereby encourage someone to adopt a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle, I will have achieved something significant. Often people would like to adopt a less animal dependant diet but fear that it might be too hard. I have been a veggie since I was 11 years old, and am qualified to give nutritional advice, so maybe I could share a tip or too.

Complementary Health. This is a subject with so many depths and layers (and a subject I am qualified to comment on and have first hand experience of.) I feel it is hard to know where to begin. I can provide help and advice as well as information on methods of treatment, diet, exercise and psychological stress busters. The main focus of complementary medicine is on treating the person as a whole not just as a person with a condition and a random collection of symptoms. This means looking at factors affecting body,mind and soul, taking in to account lifestyle factors and examining prevention and causative factors not just a "cure". Complementary Medicine is about empowering the individual, helping them take responsibility for their personal well being, providing help to make positive lifestyle changes and choices, develop coping strategy's, and therapeutic remedies. I also have much to say about the way that complementary medicine is rubbished in the media and discredited by many in the scientific community. All is not what it seems! There are ulterior motives for this! Multi-national drug companies have much of the medical and scientific community in their pocket. More of that another time. I will also have dark words to type regarding those "Therapists" who offer miracle cures and false hope for extortionate prices, practice with little or no training and use dangerous methods and denigrate the reputation of legitimate practitioners everywhere by their actions. (oh and don't even get me started on "massage parlours". Why can't a brothel just be called brothel, and not create a completely different connotation to a massage treatment by associating it in name only with an entirely different kind of personal service?). Despite these few gripes the subject of healing therapies is dear to my heart and is a beautiful one at that.

Spirituality is another subject I have much to say about, but I am a seeker like everyone else. I believe we are spiritual people in physical bodies and that each and everyone of us is here to learn, to grow, to serve and to increase both personal happiness and the happiness of others and I welcome any opportunity to do these things individually and in my connections with others. I am not religious but I have faith in the Divine. I call it World Faith and I find wisdom everywhere and in every spiritual tradition. I suppose you could call it "new agey" of me (more and more this is used as a term of ridicule) but I don't care! I would like to share my knowledge and experiences in the hope that you will feel like sharing yours in return. I read Tarot and obviously feel a connection to the spiritual and energetic aspects of healing. I am also (so I am assured) effective at dream analysis. I am interested in astrology, numerology and other forms of divination, psychic ability, paranormal phenomenon and more. I hope I can stimulate discussion and provoke some interesting comments.

So I think that has introduced me and my main interests and enthusiasms. I hope you will pop in and take a look now and then and perhaps find something here that is of interest to you, informative or just funny. I may not become a serious blogger and my blog won't be one of the best perhaps, but I reckon it will be fun, perhaps informative and I might meet a few cool people along the way and be able to improve my writing skills at the same time. Lets face it I need a creative outlet for all this stuff, otherwise my brain might explode. ;0)