Children Over Exposed

In order to start my blog, being completely new to the idea, I did a little research, reading other peoples blogs and websites that were called things like "How to Write A Good Blog". I knew roughly the kind of things I wanted to write about, and because I have recently had a baby, I knew parenting would be one of them. Many of the blogs with parenting as a theme show regular photo's of the authors beautiful child/children on various daily adventures. The blogs that I find the most readable are the ones that share quite a lot of personal information and photo's. I had a chat with a dear friend of mine who was totally horrified that I had put my "actual!" photo on my blog, as though I was now known to the entire universe and "PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!", Well I basically said that I had little to hide and that although I had put my first name and photo online it wasn't like I had posted my address, national insurance number and a copy of my birth certificate, so my identity is unlikely to be stolen, no-one that doesn't already know me can really be sure that my name is my name and besides so many people have shared photos and other personal things online that my blog is like a drop in the ocean. I compared it to not going outside in case people see you. Anyway I have found that rather than being revealed to the world, it really isn't that easy attracting people to view your blog in the first place!

My easygoing attitude doesn't extend to my daughter though. I have no trouble sharing cute baby stories about what she did today. (I will try to keep a lid on any maternal bragging, but sometimes its easier said than done) but having given the topic some thought I don't think I could be comfortable sharing photos of her online. It's a subject that has come up before. When Baby J was about 5 months old we decided to get some professional family photos taken. The photographer went on and on about how photogenic she was and how children's modelling agencies would snap her up given a chance. At the time I was really worried about my impending return to work, as I had decided that the best thing for all of us was for me to stay home and look after her, but I couldn't see how we could make things work financially. So I am ashamed to say I considered it for a nanosecond. Sanity did regain hold pretty sharpish because deep down I felt it was unethical. Children have no say on how we use their image or what experiences we expose them too. Not being able to make a personal informed choice, how could I make that choice for her? Alternatively I have a friend who has a daughter who is absolutely stunning and is very into fashion and has her own very individual style who has told her mum she would like to try some modelling. She is 15 and more than able to make an informed choice and her mum is willing to support her choice. So for me the matter is one of permission and choice. My baby has not given me permission to share her photo and she has not made a choice to share her image. The long and short of it is that there may be plenty of cute parental anecdotes, but there will be no baby photos here!

Photo's of children taken at home is a subject that came up in a conversation with my sister. We were talking about all the photos taken of me, of her and pretty much everyone of our age group running around starkers in the garden or splashing about in the bath. These photos seemed pretty unremarkable then. Now my sister feels she couldn't take the same kind of photos of her little ones. At first I said that I didn't really think it was an issue. Then I remembered just three weeks before I went to the coast and I was walking along the beach when I saw a family, and their little boy of about 8 years old was running around naked, laughing and giggling. It stuck in my mind not because I saw anything wrong with the scene, but because I realised that he was the only child on the beach who was naked, and also that he was the only child I had seen naked in public for a very long time. Something fundamental has changed in the psyche of British society. The people of the UK are world renowned for being reserved, but this is something different. What has brought about this modesty? Its not prudishness, its fear. So many parents fear the threat of paedophilia that children are kept covered up to avoid making the a target. The media reports so many awful tales and reminds us so regularly of the danger posed by those who are predatory towards children that it is something that remains at the forefront of social consciousness. Parents worry about being accused of inappropriate behaviour, so they don't take photos of the kids splashing in the bath. We try so hard to protect our children and our family unit, we have lost some of their opportunities for innocence and freedom, and this still doesn't necessarily make our children any safer. How sad.